Tag Archives: siblings

The Whole World Belongs to You

6 Jul

“Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.”
― Lao Tzu

Phoenix and Magpie are such different people in many ways. Magpie is generally happy, easily excitable, and practically bulletproof. She is just happy to be alive, most of the time.

Phoenix is complicated. She is very introspective. She works things over in her mind so completely that everything seems all wrong, and all right, all at the same time. She is overly susceptible to, and concerned with other people’s thoughts and feelings, which ordinarily is a good thing–she understands people, and has so much compassion and empathy–but it is often to her own detriment. I think she tries pleasing other people so much that it leaves her drained of her own happiness. Don’t get me wrong, she is a bright and cheery young lady much of the time, but it seems as if the smallest thing can strangely upset her to the point of deep sadness.

The fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree. I am also introspective. And, like Phoenix, I used to be highly sensitive to the feelings of those around me, until I learned to filter most of it out (and sometimes block it out completely, or so says my sensitive husband). As well, I can be a very positive person, but when the right mood strikes (or wrong mood, perhaps), I do seem to focus on the ugly.

I have been trying, for years, to figure out how to teach Phoenix to focus on the positive more than the negative; to remember what she has, and not what she lacks. But I think that, generally, I do not pay enough attention to the words that come out of my own mouth, to effectively show her the positivity and acceptance that I wish she would have. Then a couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine gave me the book Steady Days, by Jamie Martin. I was reading through it, thinking, ‘This woman is brilliant! Why didn’t I ever think to put my whole life in a three-ring binder?’, when I came across her chapter about Daily Blessings. She recommends writing down all of the things we are thankful for everyday. She has her whole family do this. I figured I could make my whole family do this too. It didn’t work quite as I had hoped–Adam was very irritated at the idea. He enjoys being a cynic.

However, the girls and I have made a (somewhat irregular) habit of asking each other what we are grateful for each day, when we are sitting at the dinner table. It is a small start, but it helps put things into perspective at the end of the day.

This morning, as I sat in a dental examination chair, under glaring florescent lights, thinking about all of my woes, I stared at a cheesy photo poster of a misty mountain cliff, with the above quote printed in the bottom corner.

the fam–this was one of two pictures I could find with both Adam and I in the frame–one of us is always behind the camera.

Times are difficult right now, but I am better off than so many. I could not ask for a better family, more amazing daughters, a more thoughtful and caring husband–and that is what I need to focus on. I lack nothing.

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